A few things I don't miss about London (plus one I do)

'm in London for a friend's wedding and it's the first time I've set foot on home soil in nearly two years. I know what I miss about the place, but a few of London's annoyances had slipped my mind.

Pigeons

Ok, so every city has it's fair share of winged rats, but nowhere else on earth have I seen them quite so diseased and malformed. Everywhere I turn there are hordes of feathered vermin, staggering around blindly on twisted one-toed feet, feeding off cigarette butts and vomit.

No window screens

I get the reasons why most buildings in the UK don't have air conditioning; summers never used to be this warm; it's too expensive retro-fitting old homes; it's bad for the environment; blah, blah, blah. But if that means keeping the windows open most of the summer, wouldn't it be logical to install screens; if only to prevent every insect in the country from biting you, drinking your blood, and laying eggs in your face while you sleep?

Graffiti

Whilst walking by the river a few days ago we saw a sign over a footbridge which declared 'Bridge closed for repairs due to vandalism'. This was clearly a futile enterrpise, seeing as the sign announcing the planned clean up was itself already covered in graffiti. It's everywhere; on walls, bus stops, garage doors, the sides of houses, even homeless people (OK, I made that last one up). It's so prevalent that I think it's almost invisible to Londoners now.

Something I do still miss though........

A decent pint

American. Beer. Is. Rubbish.